“In a world of turmoil and uncertainty, it is more important than ever to make our families the center of our lives and the top of our priorities. Families lie at the center of our Heavenly Father’s plan.” L. Tom Perry

It started with my son, his wife, and his 2-year-old little boy coming for a visit in October, since holidays are way too messy a time to travel and everyone always ends up sick.  They live the farthest, and we don’t get to see them as often as we’d like, but we do our best. Three of my children live here, and since two others live less than six hours away, they decided to come, as well.  My oldest daughter, and her family of 6, who live the farthest, hadn’t met their new nephew/cousin yet, so they wanted to come and join the fun, too.  The last time we had all been together was at my daughter’s wedding in October of 2017. There were two grands and two on the way, at that time.  Now there are five!

I knew with everything going on in all their lives, and the craziness of life, in general, during a pandemic and an election year, the chances of everyone making it here, with fairly short notice, was slim, but I didn’t let thoughts of failure intrude on my plans.  I jumped in and rented a big house with fun activities inside, like a foosball table and a pool table, and a big heated pool in the backyard.  Then I prayed.  I prayed everyone would stay well.  I prayed the travel plans would work out and everyone would be safe.  I prayed we could be together and celebrate our love for each other.  I’m truly thankful to say my prayers were answered!

We staggered comings and goings, making sure we had a couple of days where everyone would be here at the same time.  The only family member who wasn’t able to join us was my middle daughter’s husband, who was out of the country on an assignment with the military.  He was supposed to be home by then, but was delayed, much to our disappointment.  My sisters were able to see the kids, as well, and get lots of hugs.

Though family gatherings can be chaotic, everything doesn’t go as planned, and feelings can be sensitive around those we love the most and who, therefore, may hurt us the easiest, I felt this was our most successful gathering to date.  There was much joy and laughter, conversations and cuddles, and Jackbox game-playing hilarity. The grandchildren had a great time with their little cousin and with all the aunts and uncles who doted on them and taught them new games, which may have involved running around a pool table.  I joined in on one of these rounds, as my grandson said he wanted me to go after him so he could beat me.  Then when both he and his dad were out before me (yes!), he laughingly asked his dad how he “let an old granny beat you.”  I love that kid.

All the females in the group wanted to hold the baby—the most smiley 4-month-old in the world. She brought joy to anyone who needed a little. The two almost-3-year-olds became sweet buddies, and the big boys enjoyed hanging out with my big “kids,” mostly in the pool with a giant unicorn.

One evening we all gathered at my home to celebrate the lives of my mom and dad.  We had a slideshow presentation that I’d worked on forever, “Alan and Jackie, A Love Story.”  I sat between my dear sister and my youngest daughter. I held tightly to my sister’s hand and felt the gentle comfort of my daughter’s hand on my other arm as tears ran down my cheeks.  I loved hearing the laughter and the sniffles of my loved ones, as they watched and were reminded of the wonderful grandparents with which they’d been blessed. During the slow country music of the “Dad and Dearie Face” section, my little granddaughter got up with her small lamb snuggle toy, held it out at arm’s length with both hands, and began twirling around to the music.  So, so sweet. My son then played his beautiful piano arrangement of “If We Hold on Together,” which he dedicated to his Gramma.

Afterwards, family members gave lots of hugs to the tearful ones and then goofed off taking lots of fun photos (even though the lighting wasn’t perfect, and mascara had run). Trying to get a photo of the grands, when the little guy had fallen asleep and the baby was tired from all the commotion, was a bit sad, but mostly funny.  Throw a Gran in, and it’s even funnier. It was such a happy time, all together.

When it was time to say good-bye, and one-by-one they all returned home, I was more thankful than ever for the two people who live here with me every day. It’s sad for me to be far away from some of my children. I wish we all lived on a giant cul-de-sac and shared babysitting, meal prep, jam sessions, and game-playing often. These are the people I adore with all my heart.

When we’re all together, I’m reminded how precious a gift it is to know that families can be together forever. Everything of true value, I’ve learned through the experiences in my family, good or bad, sweet or sad, joyful or painful.  Every single part of being in this wonderful, fun, crazy family has made me a better person.  I’m awed by the wisdom and loving-kindness of our Heavenly Father’s plan.  Homes are the perfect place, and families are the best people, to teach us how to become like our Savior. 

“This is part of the miracle of Heavenly Father’s plan. He wants His children to come to earth, following the eternal pattern of families that exists in heaven. Families are the basic organizational unit of the eternal realms, and so He intends for them also to be the basic unit on earth. Though earthly families are far from perfect, they give God’s children the best chance to be welcomed to the world with the only love on earth that comes close to what we felt in heaven—parental love.

“…I testify that God the Father wants His children home again, in families and in glory.” Henry B. Eyring

“You have nothing in this world more precious than your children.” Gordon B. Hinckley

We were blessed to have a visit from my daughter and her family this week. She and her husband and their four young children were on their way home from an extended stay in a cooler summer climate, and more “open” environment, and we enjoyed a couple of days with them. I soaked in the baby snuggles, childish squeals, game playing, and family church. How I miss having small children in my home; they vibrate with energy, joy and innocence. 

“As the world grows ever more threatening, the powers of heaven draw ever closer to families and parents.” Boyd K. Packer

Each morning my two-year-old granddaughter joined me in my room to play with the baby (doll) stuff.  She was happy for hours laying her babies on the blankets, tucking them in my bed, changing their clothes, and giving them bottles. I could listen to her bright and cheerful toddler voice all day long. Whenever I helped or gave her anything, she quickly responded, “That’s so nice!” or “Oh, thank you, Gran.” Sunday after church, she sang “I Will Walk with Jesus,” as she scurried about taking care of her babies. I felt such joy listening to her sweetly sing the comforting words of her favorite song to herself, “I will walk with Jesus, and He will walk with me.”  My mind travelled back to times when my children were little and I taught them to sing, “I Am a Child of God,” and “I’m Trying to be Like Jesus.” I was thankful for the reminder that I had given them the same gift my daughter is giving her children—a knowledge of their Savior and Friend, Jesus Christ. As I heard that beautiful, innocent little girl sing the words she loved, which made her so happy, I felt the Spirit remind me that those things learned in infancy stay with us all our lives.

“Teach your children when they are very young and small, and never quit. As long as they are in your home, let them be your primary interest… 

“The proverb spoken of old said, ‘Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.’” Gordon B. Hinckley

I also had the opportunity, rare and cherished, to sit with my daughter, my first born, and talk with her about life, change, and troubles. I loved hearing her plans, hopes, and struggles, and was thankful for someone to listen to mine, as well. At one point, as I shared with her, she gently counselled me not to let fear be my ruler. I saw her, then, as the wise woman, the friend, the sister in God’s family, that she is to me now. It humbled me and reminded me how blessed I am to have seven loving, talented people to forever be my best friends because my Heavenly Father sent them to my family, allowing me to be their mother. I love to help and serve my children, but each of them also does so many things for me to make my life happier and better.

They:

• Help me “lighten up” and “hug it out”
• Teach my youngest things I don’t know how to do
• Do the heavy lifting for me
• Help me feel safe
• Teach me how to use my computer and phone
• Come to my rescue
• Play my favorite songs on the piano
• Send me pictures and videos of the cute and funny things the grands do
• Pick me up at the airport
• Listen when I need to talk
• Sew quilts, do drawings, and loan stuff to us
• Play games with me
• Hold me when I cry
• Share inside jokes
• Text me when they arrive safely
• Snuggle on the couch and make popcorn

“The older we grow, the more precious our family becomes to us. We come to see more clearly that all of the wealth, honor, and positions of the world pale in significance when compared to the precious souls of our loved ones.” M. Russell Ballard

I often think of how my life would look if I didn’t have my two youngest with me.  They aren’t children anymore, but I love sharing my daily life with them here in our home. My youngest daughter has been my special companion from the day she was born, but having all grown siblings can get a little lonely for her. Since we’ve moved to our new house, we have felt like we’re still getting situated—still making it “home”. It’s cozy and beautiful, quiet and easy to keep clean.  There aren’t any little ones to make eternal messes; I remember those days. Since the actual move, when my daughter and son-in-law came to help us, and putting the house together, making it ours, my other children haven’t been here yet. I realized as my grandchildren came and made noise, left messes and fingerprints, and laughed and cried here, that our new house seemed to absorb those sounds, emotions, and living, making it feel more like home. The new memories of all my precious family have begun, and they will continue as the rest visit soon and as we have holidays and special occasions here, and my heart and my home will store them up and hold them dear.

“Most of what I know about how our Father in Heaven really feels about us, His children, I have learned from the way I feel about my wife and my children and their children. This I have learned at home.” Boyd K. Packer

“Let us resolve to cherish those we love by spending meaningful time with them, doing things together, and cultivating treasured memories.” Dieter F. Uchtdorf 

I had the blessing of visiting my son, his wife, and his little 2-year-old boy this week.  They live over 900 miles from me, and I don’t get to see them nearly as often as I’d like, but that makes our time together more precious. Adding to my joy was the chance to travel with my youngest son and daughter. My girl has been my traveling buddy for many years, but my boy doesn’t love traveling too much, so it was a rare treat to have them both with me. I was thankful for the company, too, as traveling at this time was more stressful than usual, and wearing a mask magnified all the discomforts of flying for me. It was definitely worth it, though, to see my son and daughter-in-law, and experience my grandson’s happy responses to having us all there, from shy smiles to friendly giggles, and hugs around the legs. He loved having us sit on the floor with him, often backing up, trustingly, to make himself comfy in a lap, and was quick to welcome my daughter by reaching over, grabbing the French fries off the counter, and dumping the last of them over her head. He never gave up trying to sneak the phones, earbuds, snacks, and game pieces we had, or trying to escape the safety gate, which was open and shut a hundred times more often with us there. Toddlers are terrific.

I enjoyed watching my son’s family interact, and even grow and change, in the short time we were there. My grandson decided to climb out of his crib for the first time, so emergency baby-proofing took up one morning. We were on distraction duty, as my son did the not-so-easy work of wrestling with the crib, adding locks to all the drawers and the three doors in his room, and stabilizing the dresser. With all that in place at naptime, we watched the baby monitor, in amusement, as the unflappable little guy quietly tried all the doors, played with a few toys, then finally conked out in the corner, leaning against his soft mini-chair, later shifting to knees on the floor with his head on the seat of the chair for a pillow. At bedtime that night, he turned on the closet light, which shone through the door slats, then dragged that same soft chair into his open toddler bed and slept on it in there, finally ending up on his own tiny pillow, clutching his blankie, by about 5:00am. It was such a tender reminder of how fast children grow and change, and the sweet and funny way they have of finding their way in new circumstances. I learned a good lesson from that youngster about accepting change without a big fuss and patiently figuring out how it can work for me.

While there, we mostly stayed in, spending our time together talking, playing games, sharing meals together, and laughing at my grandson’s antics.  The weather was beautiful, so we took a few walks, as well, chasing the tiny, constantly churning, legs of a busy little boy. Watching him, I felt amazed at how much love I feel for the sweet angels sent to my own children. Even when I don’t get to live close, and be a major part of their lives, they are constantly in my heart and their names in my prayers. I’m thankful for the connection of generations, of love, of family. I had a sweet opportunity to talk to my daughter-in-law about our temple covenants and sealings, reminding her that because of those, she is my daughter, and her baby is my grandson; they belong with us and are forever a part of our family, along with my son. The blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ are the most comforting, sweetest, most unifying gifts we have in this life. Knowing these people, I love so much, are sealed to me—can be mine through eternity—gives me the strength I need when we are apart.

“Covenant belonging is to make and keep solemn promises to God and each other through sacred ordinances that invite the power of godliness to be manifest in our lives…

“To belong with God and to walk with each other on His covenant path is to be blessed by covenant belonging…

“As we honor our covenants, we may sometimes feel we are in the company of angels. And we will be—those we love and who bless us on this side of the veil and those who love and bless us from the other side of the veil.” Gerrit W. Gong

It’s hard to say goodbye, even temporarily. While we’re together, life feels brighter, more hopeful, more joyful. I imagine eternity is full of moments like these, together, happy, encouraging one another, and lending support and strength.  I think of my parents and grandparents, who were loving, cherished people in my life, and who I still feel around me often. I want future generations, to think of me in the same way; I want to be there for them, if only in heart and spirit, when I can’t be there in person. I want them to feel my love for them and for the Lord. I’m thankful to have these treasured years with them now, and I love building those relationships one trip, one hug, one precious moment at a time.

“All of us are in the middle of an eternal family. Our role can be a turning point at which significant changes can occur in positive or negative ways. President Hinckley [said], “Never permit yourself to become a weak link in the chain of your generations.” Your faithfulness in the gospel will strengthen your family…

“It is never too late to look up to Jesus Christ. His arms are always open to you. There are generations before us and after us depending on us to follow Christ so that we can be an eternal family of God.” Yoon Hwan Choi

“The Family: A Proclamation to the World” identifies building blocks that form the foundation of eternal families: “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”

I continue to miss my mom and reminisce about the near and distant past. Mom worked hard when I was younger, and I missed having her at home. I imagine one of the reasons I love the beach so much is because it was the one place we all went together every summer, and mom was with us all the time, relaxed and happy.  We lived in California, so the drive was only a little over an hour, and on the way there, we used to see who could spot the water first, feeling so much anticipation as we sang and played games in the car. I still feel that same sweet anticipation whenever I head for the coast.

We stayed at many different condos, but one we returned to several times was right on the sand.  We just climbed up three steps and were on the beach. We could run back and forth to use the bathroom, grab lunch or more snacks, or change our clothes. Mom and Grandma worked out the menu ahead of time, which always featured tacos and chili, and the first thing we did was go grocery shopping, including lots of special snacks and sodas. The beach is the only place I ever drank black cherry soda. During the week, we’d make sure to visit Rusty’s Pizza Parlor and Foster’s Freeze (Dad’s favorite).

I loved everything about that time together. I remember the grainy sand between my toes and the way it sounded as it scratched under our flip flops as we headed out with Dad or Grandpa for a walk to The Spot, a hamburger place just down the street, for lunch. I loved the ocean and swam all day, often with my sister, as Mom and Grandpa watched from the sand. My favorite was when Dad occasionally came in with us, showing us how to catch the waves, though I learned later that he barely tolerated the freezing water, which I relate to now. Grandpa was always up for a walk along the beach up to “the point,” where we often found a tide pool of amazing little creatures, and Dad played frisbee and other ball-catching games with us down by the water and was a great sandcastle architect.  

After a fun day in the sun, sand, and water, we cleaned up (we always had to remove tar from our feet with baby oil), ate dinner together, and played games, usually cards. It was so much fun. Sometimes at night, after showers, we’d find places on our skin that were sunburned and sensitive. I find myself smiling while I type these memories. Those trips increased my sense of belonging in my family, my feelings of love and security. They are the happiest times of my childhood and are always present in my heart when I go back.

“Build family traditions. Plan and carry out meaningful vacations together, considering our children’s needs, talents, and abilities. Help them create happy memories, improve their talents, and build their feelings of self-worth.” Robert D. Hales

The beach will always remind me of Mom and Dad. Throughout her whole life, Mom’s special place was Carpinteria. I imagine, like me, she carried sweet memories of her own family, who also spent summers there in her childhood. I know she felt especially close to her dad there. The salty beach breezes, the warm sunshine, and the sights and sounds of the waves rushing in and out transported Mom to a relaxed, joyful place, away from her worries and cares. Dad took his sweetheart every year, no matter the sacrifice. After he died, my sisters and I took over getting Mom to her annual beach trip.  She began staying for a whole month, soaking in all the peace and joy she could to last throughout the rest of the year.

We loved seeing the positive change that came over Mom at the beach and cherished the time we spent with her there, as we became her companions so she could still safely go. There was the occasional grumble, and greater appreciation for Dad, because she wasn’t a light packer, and we filled up the back of her SUV to the tippy top with all her stuff, including her cross-stitch paraphernalia and library books.  We also took her motorized scooter for her to get around. After she was all settled in, which took a day or two, she put on her hat each sunny day, loaded up the basket on her scooter, and navigated the short distance to the sand to set up her little place close to the sidewalk.  We reminded her often to be sure she always had her phone, and when she was alone, people were friendly and kind, offering her help if she needed it. Mom’s cousin, Pam, shared her love of the beach and was her beach buddy, especially in the last few years. Mom and Pam both had their last stay at the beach in September 2019; Pam died on Christmas Day and Mom only a few weeks later.   

Whenever I drove my mom to California, my heart got lighter and lighter as we approached the coast. I felt really close to Dad and also Grandpa and Grandma, who were a treasured part of the wonderful times spent there. I don’t know how it will feel to go back to Carpinteria this year.  My sisters and I will go together, which will be a first in our adult lives—we’ve always taken shifts, in the past, which allowed Mom a longer stay and gave us each special time just with her. I can’t imagine not having Mom with us, but, thankfully, I know from experience that she’ll be there in spirit, and she’ll be happy we’re together, remembering her and Dad and all the wonderful days we spent there.     

“Being part of a family is a great blessing. Your family can provide you with companionship and happiness, help you learn correct principles in a loving atmosphere, and help you prepare for eternal life.” For the Strength of Youth

“The increasing darkness that accompanies tribulation makes the light of Jesus Christ shine ever brighter.” Russell M. Nelson

This has been a strange, beautiful, scary, lonely, spiritual, and blessed time. I wonder how I will look back on this time of “sheltering” at home. I have learned and felt so many amazing things! I’ve been truly thankful for my home, a safe and holy place to ride out the storm of disease and fear that has gripped the world. It seems our hearts are softer, and our eyes are more open to see the hand of the Lord, during times of worry and hardship. Truly, He is our shelter, willing to gather us “as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings.”  Fasting and praying with the whole world touched my heart deeply. It was a beautiful reminder that we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father, who hears each of His children, no matter where they live, what they look like, or how they worship. I know He hears me, He hears each of us, and answers us in the way that will most bless us.

“Our Father knows that when we are surrounded by uncertainty and fear, what will help us the very most is to hear His Son.

“Because when we seek to hear—truly hear—His Son, we will be guided to know what to do in any circumstance.” Russell M. Nelson

I always look forward to the semi-annual General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, which takes place in the spring and the fall. I love to hear the Lord’s prophet and apostles speak to us. I love gathering, virtually or in person, with saints from all over the world, to receive spiritual sustenance and healing hope. This month, I counted down the days, the moments, until conference, with almost desperate longing, to gain the needed strength and encouragement I knew, from experience, would come.  I wasn’t disappointed. I never want to forget the sacred, beautiful experiences we had as we listened to the voice of the Lord, through His servants, joined in singing His praises, shouted Hosanna, and soaked in the light and hope only the Savior can bestow.

Lately, I’ve experienced a greater appreciation for my many blessings and opportunities. I’ve keenly felt the absence of temple attendance and spending time with family, who are far away.  I’ve been surprised at missing some things I’ve taken for granted, or even resented, in the past. The Lord is teaching me in a way I don’t think I would have been able to learn under easier circumstances.

With Easter’s approach, my heart has been turned more intensely to feelings of awe and gratitude for the suffering and love of my Redeemer, for me, for those I love, for each and every one of God’s children. I’ve felt a little sad not to be able to gather to sing out “Hosanna” and “Hallelujah” with other believers, but my spirit sings with the joy of knowing He is risen. Contemplating Christ’s anguish during His atonement for our sins, weaknesses, sorrows, and even illnesses,  breaks my heart, leaving it open and tender. How can I express my feelings of deepest gratitude, my utter devotion, my longing to be with Him again? My Jesus. My hope and salvation. My strength and reason for pressing on.

“The sacred events between Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday are the story of hosanna and hallelujah. Hosanna is our plea for God to save. Hallelujah expresses our praise to the Lord for the hope of salvation and exaltation. In hosanna and hallelujah we recognize the living Jesus Christ as the heart of Easter and latter-day restoration.” Garrett W. Gong

When spring approaches, with warm sunlight and green sprouts on trees and plants, I think of Easter and Christ’s resurrection, of new life. We had complete confidence Jesus would do whatever it took to let us have new life, like the grasses and plants and trees. We are precious to Him. With the ache of missing my mom, who left me so recently, I have been comforted by these evidences of the Savior’s love and sacrifice which make it possible for me to be with Mom and Dad, along with my Heavenly Parents and Brother, and all those I’ve been blessed to love, after this life is over.  I’m forever grateful for the sure knowledge, in my soul, that this life is not the beginning, nor the end, but a temporary training and testing place, in our eternal progression.

Because of Jesus’s beautiful life and example, His suffering and atonement, His death—and especially His ultimate victory over that death—any challenge we face can be met with hope and joy. He is risen! He lives! He will not leave us comfortless, nor forsake us. Hosanna, Hallelujah, and Happy Easter.

“As I have seen the storms that affect people’s lives, I have concluded that no matter what kind of storm is battering us—regardless of whether there is a solution to it or whether there is an end in sight—there is only one refuge, and it is the same for all types of storms. This single refuge provided by our Heavenly Father is our Lord Jesus Christ and His Atonement.” Ricardo P. Giménez