“Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;

“For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him.” Doctrine & Covenants 18:10–11

I’ve always been blessed with great eyesight, but in the last few years my near vision has drastically gone south. It’s frustrating! I’m learning to carry reading glasses with me, risking looking like the granny I am, as I pull them out to read the hymnbook at church or the labels in the grocery store. However, I can’t wear glasses while shaping my eyebrows, so I have to use a magnifying mirror.  This week as I took out the mirror and tried to tweeze those eyebrows, I found I couldn’t see well enough.  I realized the mirror was smudgy with fingerprints, so I cleaned it up and voilá, I could see my face, all up close and personal.  I instantly regretted it.  Nobody old enough for granny glasses should closely examine her face. It can only lead to sorrow. It reminds me of a scene from one of my favorite old movies, “What’s Up Doc?” In a crazy chase around San Francisco, Ryan, who’s driving, says, “I can’t see.” Barbara takes his glasses to clean them, and he says, “Now I really can’t see.” She hands them back, and seeing the chaos in front of him, he groans, “Oh gosh, I can see!” and flings them out the window. Sometimes we’re better off not seeing as clearly.

When I examine myself, my thoughts and actions, it’s like I use a magnifying mirror to view my faults. They show up huge and defined, while my finer characteristics blur and shrink into the background. Nobody knows our shortcomings and weaknesses better than we do (despite what our children may think). We know and, if you’re like me, grieve over them, dwell on them, and magnify them, to our own detriment. We might even feel guilty for the weakness of dwelling on our weaknesses!

In 2 Nephi, chapter four, I love to read Nephi’s poetic praises, along with his mournful thoughts, which echo mine.

“Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

“I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

“And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.” 2 Nephi 4:17-19

I admit I feel better knowing Nephi struggled with this, too.  At least I’m in good company.  However, before and after admitting his grief for his sins, Nephi praises and trusts the goodness of the Lord.  Isn’t that the reason we have those weaknesses to begin with?  To teach us humility, and patience in learning and growing, to turn our groaning hearts to The One who can change us and heal us?

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” Ether 12:27

I used to think this meant my weaknesses would all turn to strengths. That would be really nice.  Now I believe that, whether or not the weakness itself becomes a strength, I am made stronger because of the weakness and my struggle with it.  The Atonement of Jesus Christ changes me, not necessarily my weakness.

I feel like most of the things I’m working on are about balance.  Balancing is much harder than just getting down to work on the hard stuff.  Balancing requires patience and wisdom, both of which can be scarce at times. For example, as a mother, I need to give my children the freedom to choose and learn from their mistakes, but I must also be firm about not allowing certain things. It’s difficult to know where those lines are.  I find myself constantly tipping the scales one way, then scrambling to the other side, trying to find just the right balance. This is how it is with weaknesses.  Sometimes I get so discouraged about my weaknesses that I’m ready to give up.  Other times, I’m zealously determined to conquer this thing or die trying.  The scale endlessly teeters back and forth.  What I need, for balance, is patience and wisdom to recognize small advances, forgiveness for the setbacks, through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and continuing reliance on the Savior’s grace for this process of refining.  

“Don’t listen to the voices in your head—that may have been there from your childhood—that tell you you can’t change, you aren’t good enough, and you will fail yet again. Listen only to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit and ‘the pleasing word of God … which healeth the wounded soul’ that confirm your infinite worth and God’s loving reassurance that you can do it.

“When you are exhausted with life and feeling like you cannot see any good coming from all your efforts to live righteously, don’t give up. Don’t compromise your dreams and goals. Increase your faith that it is always worth waiting for the Lord’s timing.”

Jennifer Kearon, Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults, May 8, 2018

Many years ago, a friend gave me a beautiful picture of Christ with these words written underneath:

If only you could see yourself as I see you, you would know your infinite worth.

She knew my struggle with the magnifying mirror.  I still have that loving gift by my bed and I still wrestle with this, but I have improved. 

We climb uphill most of the time, aware of the dramatic distance between where we are and the summit.  It helps to occasionally stop, breathe in the beauty of the moment, and gaze back to see clearly how far we’ve come. We do make progress, though nearly imperceptible at times. That’s okay. We’re not in a race, we’re not alone, and we’re going to make it.

“You are of unlimited, boundless, endless worth to your Father in Heaven, the One who knows you best, no matter what anyone else might think or say about you. Just let the beauty and stillness of that truth weigh on your soul for a moment. You are ‘precious in [His] sight.’

“When someone hurts you, or you experience a failure of some kind, come to where you are never rejected and never ridiculed. Your Father in Heaven loves you, whoever you are, whatever you are struggling with. You are enough. You are enough. He loves you just the way you are, right here, right now, in all your beautiful messiness. But He also loves you enough not to let you stay the way you are right here, right now. He has much bigger plans for you! You are ‘heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ,’ and so you must continue to learn to keep the commandments, make mistakes, grow, struggle, and change, until you reach your divine potential, refined and purified—and some eternal day perfected—through the grace of Christ.” Jennifer Kearon

“For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift? Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given unto him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift.” Doctrine and Covenants 88:33

As I look around and visit with other people, I find that everyone is going through difficult and painful experiences. Our challenges can be disheartening and frightening. It’s normal for the “natural man” in each of us to focus on the negative—it’s easy to find! Heavenly Father wants us to put off the natural man and be happy and hopeful.  Didn’t He send His only begotten Son so we could rejoice and be filled with hope? He also gave us the key to the door of happiness—a commandment to give thanks in all things. 

 “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy might, mind, and strength; and in the name of Jesus Christ thou shalt serve him.

“Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Thou shalt not steal; neither commit adultery, nor kill, nor do anything like unto it.

“Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things.” D&C 59:5–7

I’m not suggesting we pretend we feel differently than we do. It’s important to acknowledge and work through pain and grief.  I’m also not referring to depression or mental illness, but rather habitual focus on the negative, which brings us down. For me, the challenge is to stop dwelling on the sadness in my own life and all around me.  I feel it pressing down on me.  Focusing on the painful parts of life steals my energy, my joy, and my hope. Those thoughts swirl around and around, pulling me deeper and deeper into the darkness. There are people who are sick, suffering, lonely, lost. There are circumstances that are scary and foreign. There are dreams and hearts that are dashed and broken. Mournful and fearful thoughts are powerful and stubborn.  They don’t want to give up their prime real estate in our brains.  We have to forcibly evict them by replacing them with thoughts of beauty and gratitude. There is always more grace than grief.

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:6-8

Think on the good and beautiful things…because this doesn’t come easily to me, I have to intentionally practice it. Practicing takes time and patience, effort and focus. As I exercise the gratitude muscle, which I’ve found takes me from gloom and doom straight to happiness, it gets stronger. I simply cannot think negative thoughts while praising God for the gifts of my children, my grandchildren, my home, and my testimony. I can’t be sad while feeling thanks for beautiful moments on a warm sunny beach with a salty breeze blowing, or a comfy chair and cozy quilt beside a sparkling Christmas tree.

“There is a truism associated with all types of human strength: ‘Use it or lose it.’ When not used, muscles weaken, skills deteriorate, and faith disappears. President Thomas S. Monson, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles at the time, stated: ‘Think to thank. In these three words is the finest capsule course for a happy marriage, a formula for enduring friendship, and a pattern for personal happiness.’” James E. Faust

While working in the temple last week, I experienced overwhelming gratitude.  As I repeated the words describing the blessings we are promised in the ordinances there, I had trouble speaking for the lump in my throat. My eyes filled as I felt the immense love Heavenly Father has for each of His children. Like warm sunshine on a spring day, it shone down on me, filling me with light and joy. Neither my heart nor my mind had even a tiny space for darkness or negativity.

“And thou shalt rejoice in every good thing which the Lord thy God hath given unto thee, and unto thine house…” Deuteronomy 26:11

There are so many things to be thankful for. I tried to write down 1,000 things I was thankful for, but this is pretty tricky, not because there aren’t 1,000 things, but because they overlap and repeat with small variations and because after about 250, I couldn’t remember if I’d already written that one. So I write it again…and again. When I feel low, that list lifts me. It represents all the ways Heavenly Father shows His love for me.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold rather a large amount of gratitude.” A. A. Milne

Along with the enormous blessings of faith and family, there are numberless small blessings that literally fill every nook and cranny of my life and heart. I love Mr. Putter, a character from the imagination of Cynthia Rylant, one of my favorite children’s authors. One long winter Mr. Putter decides to write a mystery novel, but after much procrastination and writer’s block, he chooses instead to write “Good Things.”  I decided to follow his example and share some of my good things.

• A hand to hold when I’m scared
• Rocking a sleeping baby in a quiet room
• A handmade quilt made just for me
• Popcorn and a favorite movie
• A facetime call from my grandson
• My own private piano concert
• A homecooked meal (not prepared by me!)
• Dad calling me “Darlin’” and Mom calling me “Hon”
• A cup of hot chocolate after Christmas caroling
• Silly moments with my teenager
• A loving and/or hilarious text from a sister or friend
• A cuddle puddle with the grands
• A big hug from one of my big boys
• Grace to get through a rough day

It makes me happy to type this list. I also had great fun reading Disney quotes about gratitude and attitude. There’s some helpful advice here. See if you know who said it. (Answers at the end.) If you have a great quote, share it in the comments! 

“Think of the happiest things…All it takes is faith and trust (oh…and dust). ”

“Just look at the world around you…what more are you looking for?”

“Whistle while you work…Hum a merry tune.”

“Don’t spend your time lookin’ around for something you want that can’t be found.”

“Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.”

I’m working out those gratitude muscles hoping I can be more like Winnie the Pooh (and less like Eeyore).“

“What day is it?” Asked Pooh.

““It’s today!” squeaked Piglet.

“My favorite day” said Pooh.

“Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.

“We can be grateful!

“It might sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened with sorrow should give thanks to God. But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding.” Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Quotes: Peter Pan, Sebastian, Snow White, Baloo, Mary Poppins