“You have nothing in this world more precious than your children.” Gordon B. Hinckley

We were blessed to have a visit from my daughter and her family this week. She and her husband and their four young children were on their way home from an extended stay in a cooler summer climate, and more “open” environment, and we enjoyed a couple of days with them. I soaked in the baby snuggles, childish squeals, game playing, and family church. How I miss having small children in my home; they vibrate with energy, joy and innocence. 

“As the world grows ever more threatening, the powers of heaven draw ever closer to families and parents.” Boyd K. Packer

Each morning my two-year-old granddaughter joined me in my room to play with the baby (doll) stuff.  She was happy for hours laying her babies on the blankets, tucking them in my bed, changing their clothes, and giving them bottles. I could listen to her bright and cheerful toddler voice all day long. Whenever I helped or gave her anything, she quickly responded, “That’s so nice!” or “Oh, thank you, Gran.” Sunday after church, she sang “I Will Walk with Jesus,” as she scurried about taking care of her babies. I felt such joy listening to her sweetly sing the comforting words of her favorite song to herself, “I will walk with Jesus, and He will walk with me.”  My mind travelled back to times when my children were little and I taught them to sing, “I Am a Child of God,” and “I’m Trying to be Like Jesus.” I was thankful for the reminder that I had given them the same gift my daughter is giving her children—a knowledge of their Savior and Friend, Jesus Christ. As I heard that beautiful, innocent little girl sing the words she loved, which made her so happy, I felt the Spirit remind me that those things learned in infancy stay with us all our lives.

“Teach your children when they are very young and small, and never quit. As long as they are in your home, let them be your primary interest… 

“The proverb spoken of old said, ‘Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.’” Gordon B. Hinckley

I also had the opportunity, rare and cherished, to sit with my daughter, my first born, and talk with her about life, change, and troubles. I loved hearing her plans, hopes, and struggles, and was thankful for someone to listen to mine, as well. At one point, as I shared with her, she gently counselled me not to let fear be my ruler. I saw her, then, as the wise woman, the friend, the sister in God’s family, that she is to me now. It humbled me and reminded me how blessed I am to have seven loving, talented people to forever be my best friends because my Heavenly Father sent them to my family, allowing me to be their mother. I love to help and serve my children, but each of them also does so many things for me to make my life happier and better.

They:

• Help me “lighten up” and “hug it out”
• Teach my youngest things I don’t know how to do
• Do the heavy lifting for me
• Help me feel safe
• Teach me how to use my computer and phone
• Come to my rescue
• Play my favorite songs on the piano
• Send me pictures and videos of the cute and funny things the grands do
• Pick me up at the airport
• Listen when I need to talk
• Sew quilts, do drawings, and loan stuff to us
• Play games with me
• Hold me when I cry
• Share inside jokes
• Text me when they arrive safely
• Snuggle on the couch and make popcorn

“The older we grow, the more precious our family becomes to us. We come to see more clearly that all of the wealth, honor, and positions of the world pale in significance when compared to the precious souls of our loved ones.” M. Russell Ballard

I often think of how my life would look if I didn’t have my two youngest with me.  They aren’t children anymore, but I love sharing my daily life with them here in our home. My youngest daughter has been my special companion from the day she was born, but having all grown siblings can get a little lonely for her. Since we’ve moved to our new house, we have felt like we’re still getting situated—still making it “home”. It’s cozy and beautiful, quiet and easy to keep clean.  There aren’t any little ones to make eternal messes; I remember those days. Since the actual move, when my daughter and son-in-law came to help us, and putting the house together, making it ours, my other children haven’t been here yet. I realized as my grandchildren came and made noise, left messes and fingerprints, and laughed and cried here, that our new house seemed to absorb those sounds, emotions, and living, making it feel more like home. The new memories of all my precious family have begun, and they will continue as the rest visit soon and as we have holidays and special occasions here, and my heart and my home will store them up and hold them dear.

“Most of what I know about how our Father in Heaven really feels about us, His children, I have learned from the way I feel about my wife and my children and their children. This I have learned at home.” Boyd K. Packer

“You will find some of your greatest joys in your efforts to make your home a place of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and a place that is permeated with love, the pure love of Christ.” Henry B. Eyring

In the gospel of Jesus Christ, we’re taught the ideal of home and family life. We have the ideal in our Heavenly Parents and brother, Jesus Christ. But we live in a telestial world. Though we want celestial, we have to grow and progress, sometimes through painful learning experiences, to reach that potential.

Our current home situations each look a little—or a lot—different. Even our own situations change over the years, I’ve been the daughter in a home with no sons, a young woman married in the temple without children, a woman with many children, a woman with children and extended family sharing my home, a woman with a spouse and some children who have forsaken the beliefs I cherish, a divorced woman, a woman with grown children leaving my home, and a single mother.

My current situation makes these words from a Prophet of God, last week in General Conference, especially comforting:

“Because the Melchizedek Priesthood has been restored, both covenant-keeping women and men have access to ‘all the spiritual blessings of the church’…Every woman and every man who makes covenants with God and keeps those covenants, and who participates worthily in priesthood ordinances, has direct access to the power of God. Those who are endowed in the house of the Lord receive a gift of God’s priesthood power by virtue of their covenant, along with a gift of knowledge to know how to draw upon that power.

“The heavens are just as open to women who are endowed with God’s power flowing from their priesthood covenants as they are to men who bear the priesthood…

“If you are endowed but not currently married to a man who bears the priesthood and someone says to you, ‘I’m sorry you don’t have the priesthood in your home,’ please understand that that statement is incorrect. You may not have a priesthood bearer in your home, but you have received and made sacred covenants with God in His temple. From those covenants flows an endowment of His priesthood power upon you. And remember, if your husband should die, you would preside in your home.” Russell M. Nelson

Your home and family situation may look significantly different from mine. We each have mountains to climb and challenges to face in our ultimate goal of an ideal eternal family. That’s part of the plan. No matter what our home situation is currently, we can have the Spirit and find joy.

“The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.

“When the focus of our lives is on God’s plan of salvation … and Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening—or not happening—in our lives. Joy comes from and because of Him. … For Latter-day Saints, Jesus Christ is joy!” Russell M. Nelson

Our homes are sacred places. In the Bible dictionary we read that a temple “is the most holy of any place of worship on the earth. Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness.” When we think of the temple as the House of the Lord, and of our homes as temples, we begin to understand the power of the environment we create in our homes.

Because of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, we know we are children of God. We all belong to His family, and He wants us to return to Him. This naturally means that each member of our family, young or old, has infinite worth, and each deserves to be treated with love, kindness, and respect—no matter what. No matter how they treat us. No matter how they use their agency.

The Lord told us the greatest commandment is to love God, and the second, to love others as ourselves. We put God first. Always. We love and serve Him with all our hearts. This brings the Spirit. Next, we love ourselves and others. We do not let family members treat us badly, and we do not treat them badly, which chases away the Spirit. We remember who we are, and who they are. In my home now, I work hard to set an example with the reminder, “I matter and you matter.” We aim to treat each other with the reverence and respect a child of God deserves.

 “…The ultimate purpose of all we teach is to unite parents and children in faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, that they are happy at home, sealed in an eternal marriage, linked to their generations, and assured of exaltation in the presence of our Heavenly Father.” Boyd K. Packer

“You will best lead by example. Family members and others must see you growing in your own faith in Jesus Christ and in His gospel.” Henry B. Eyring

What we do will always carry more power than what we say. We can’t expect to lift the members of our family if we aren’t in a good place ourselves. I have to be living worthily, and seeking to have the Holy Ghost with me, in order to bring that Spirit into my home. Even then, every child of God has been granted agency, a gift we must honor in ourselves and others, and may not choose to believe or live the way we do. We mustn’t let worry, fear, and grief over loved ones’ choices distract us from our focus on Christ. We continue to love and pray for them, to strengthen our own faith, to follow the Spirit in bearing our testimony to them and inviting them, and then trust in the Lord. He’s told us it’s His work and His glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. He can do His work. Our work is to be the very best we can to qualify for the companionship of the Spirit, to love and serve all within our influence, and to never, ever give up. When we’re doing the best we can, we have promises and Heavenly help.

“My promise to you is one that a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles once made to me. I had said to him that because of choices some in our extended family had made, I doubted that we could be together in the world to come. He said, as well as I can remember, ‘You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine.’” Henry B. Eyring

Our Father in Heaven loves us and wants us to experience joy in this life and for eternity. He provided the way through His Son, Jesus Christ. As we continue to seek the Spirit in our homes, to focus on the Savior, and to show reverence and respect for our family members and homes, we will have Divine Help and enjoy the blessings that come from the companionship of the Holy Ghost, in our homes and in our hearts.

“Of all the titles of respect and honor and admiration that are given to Deity, He has asked us to address Him as Father.” The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

“The spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God…”

Romans 8:16

Today my thoughts are on my Heavenly Father and other loving fathers who have influenced my life. On Father’s Day, memories of my own dad are both poignant and sweet. I miss him. I wish, every day, that he was here. I have no doubt that he’s still with me, but I want to see his face. That’s what I miss most of all. The way he looked at me, smiled at me, gave me a sense of true worth; I knew he loved me. That feeling of knowing, having complete trust that I was cherished and valued, helped me understand and trust that I’m loved by my Heavenly Father, as well.

“We know that a young person’s developing concept of God centers on characteristics observed in that child’s earthly parents.” Jeffrey R. Holland

Dad was a gentle man and a gentleman. When I lug the trash cans out on Friday nights, I think of Dad. He used to joke about “a man of his position” taking out the trash, but he was old school and did all kinds of courteous things like that for his wife, his daughters, and many sisters in his ward who were widows or elderly and needed help. He did the heavy lifting, took care of the cars and the yard, and, most importantly, killed the bugs.

Dad loved cars. When my sisters and I were little, he took us for rides in his Spitfire convertible.  The memories are vague, just a happy sense of wind and love and laughter. He let me sit on his lap and drive around the neighborhood sometimes. When I was a teenager, Dad had a Porche 911.  I can’t believe he let me drive that thing when I was learning. It was a manual transmission, and I remember stalling at signals and panicking trying to get it started on a hill.  He was patient and never got worked up about it. After I got my license, he let me drive his VW Rabbit. It overheated on the freeway once, and I didn’t know what to do.  I tried to get to the offramp, drove it too long, and cracked the engine block.  Bye-bye car. He didn’t even get upset with me. It was a huge, expensive mistake, but an innocent one, and he didn’t make me feel worse than I already did.

My dad taught me, by his example, that we can repent and completely change our lives.  The difference in his life, after returning to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints when he was nearly forty years old, is a testimony of the power of the atonement of Jesus Christ. He became a dedicated follower of the Savior, blessing our home and family with the Priesthood he held and honored.

 “Noble fatherhood gives us a glimpse of the Divine.” James E Faust

One morning, when I was sixteen, my younger sister fell in the shower and had a seizure. Emergency help was summoned, and Mom was with my sister, but Dad had gone to get gas in the car. I was panicked, needing Dad to be there. My first thought was that my sister needed a blessing, and I had to find Dad.  I went out to the front yard just as Dad drove up—to the frightening sight of a fire truck and ambulance parked in front of our house. As he sprinted into the house, I felt secure again. I was so thankful my Dad lived his life worthy to give a Priesthood blessing any time it was needed. My sister was fine, in the end, but there were some other seizures and medications she had to take for a while.  

From the time he turned back to the gospel, until the day he died, Dad worthily exercised the Priesthood. He baptized and confirmed me, my sisters, and my Mom. He gave me many father’s blessings, gave grandchildren blessings, ordained grandsons, escorted grandsons to the temple, and showed all of his family what it looks like to honor the sacred and holy Priesthood of God. For some of them, he was the only example of that in their lives.

Besides my own dad, today I’ve reminisced about the many fathers who’ve influenced our family. When my children were young, their dad sang hymns to them at bedtime. His favorites were “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief” and “We Thank Thee, O God, For a Prophet.” He taught them beautiful sermons with those two hymns. He provided the fun and laughter that kids thrive on. He splashed in the pool, boogied in the kitchen to 80’s tunes, and rode the roller coasters. He wasn’t afraid to be goofy with his kids. He also instilled in them a love for all thing Star Wars. 

My father-in-law just celebrated his ninetieth birthday.  I’ve known him for 35 years and am thankful for the love and influence he’s been to me and my family. He has lovingly and patiently served his wife for over 60 years, sometimes at great personal sacrifice. They recently had to leave their home and relocate to an assisted living facility so his wife could have more help. The residents all love him because he has an unfailingly good attitude, knows each person, including staff, greets them by name, and tells them jokes every day. He’s been a valiant and dedicated servant of God in the church, in the community, and in his family. He’s teaching us all how to endure faithfully to the end. I’m blessed to have him for my second dad in this life, and I’m thankful for the shining example he is to me and all of his posterity.

A bishop is sometimes lovingly referred to as “The Father of the Ward.” Each of our bishops has been a blessing and a faithful representative of our Savior to me and my children. I feel love and gratitude for those men who have guided us through challenging circumstances, repentance processes, and preparation for temple and missions, with love, strength, and dedication. Like a loving father, at times they had to be tough, require a great deal, and push us to be our best, and like a father, they cared for and prayed for us. Our lives are better for the service and sacrifice of these leaders and beloved friends.

“God loves his children more than any earthly parent, so think what your kindness to his children means to him.” Henry B. Eyring

Today, and always, I’m especially thankful for my Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ. I’m humbled by this gift of knowing who I am, where I came from, and where I’m going. I have a home to return to, where my loving, perfect Heavenly Parents and Brother are waiting for me. I know I’m a daughter of God, and I believe He will look at me the same way my dad did—with adoration.  

“I believe that every man, woman, and child has felt the call of heaven at some point in his or her life. Deep within us is a longing to somehow reach past the veil and embrace Heavenly Parents we once knew and cherished.” Dieter F. Uchtdorf

There’s No Place Like Home: this sentiment, along with a more current one, Home is my Happy Place, expresses my feelings about home.  I love having a place that is safe, comfortable, loving, and most importantly, centered on the Savior, Jesus Christ, so it can be filled with the Spirit. For me, the influence of the Spirit in my home is vital to my ability to face each new day.  I enjoy the feeling of peace and comfort I feel when I return home after being away, even for a short time.  More and more the world outside our homes is a place of contention, temptation, and darkness. Although we need to go out and shine our light so that others may see our good works and glorify our Father in Heaven, we also need, more and more, a haven to return to for filling our lamps, so we may continue to be a light to others.

Recently, I was sad to see the burning of Notre Dame. It brought to mind “sanctuary” and how every soul needs a safe zone, where we can call “time out” and block out negative influences and pressures. I love the image of our home as a sanctuary, not only for those who live there, but also for others seeking a refuge from their storms. I’ve been blessed to have the space and means to welcome extended family members who’ve needed a place to live for a while, to regroup and heal, or long-term help and care.

“Deep inside each of us is a need to have a place of refuge where peace and serenity prevail, a place where we can reset, and regroup, reenergize to prepare for future pressures.  The ideal place for that peace is within the walls of our own homes, where we have done all we can to make the Lord Jesus Christ the centerpiece.” Richard G. Scott

In our home, I tried to do the things we’re asked to do, by the Prophet and Apostles, to strengthen our families and center our home in Christ. With seven kids, and a 17-year span from the oldest to the youngest, Family Home Evenings were challenging.  I often ended up in tears by the end.  Family council was the worst.  At one point, we had a notebook where we kept track of offenses like interrupting, name-calling, disrespectful behavior towards parents, etc., and fees charged for such offenses. (Hey, money talks.) No matter how hard we tried, or which parenting strategy we were currently using, “organized” family time was often a disaster.  I was totally out-numbered and out-maneuvered. Occasionally, however, we would have a wonderful spiritual experience that made it all worthwhile.  Several of those occasions were Father’s (or Brother’s) Priesthood blessings before a new school year.  The children looked forward to this and were reverent and touched by the Spirit present at those special times. Witnessing those tender hugs to a brother after a tear-filled blessing was the sweet payoff for enduring the rest.

When the older kids were in early morning seminary, we got sleepy little ones and grumpy teens up for scripture reading and family prayer at 5:00 am. We ate dinner together as a family every night, and tried to make it a bonding experience, though it was usually barely civil.  I struggled with my idealistic view of how a family dinner should look versus the reality of rude boys, sassy girls, tears and teasing, parents included. But I never gave up. When my sons were on missions, they knew we were praying for them, as a family, every single day.

Home was the place I gave birth to my youngest daughter. The day before she was born, it snowed in Las Vegas!  The children all bundled up and played in the snow, while I was in labor. They slept in their own beds and woke up the next day to greet their new sister!  Home was also a place to homeschool some of my children. While rocking my sixth baby one night, praying about school for one of my children who’d had a bad experience in her elementary school, the Spirit distinctly (and uncomfortably!) led me to homeschooling. Since that time, 19 years ago, I’ve used many different programs and methods to teach my children, but most of all I’ve loved learning with them and having them with me when they were young. I wanted them to have a place to learn where the Spirit of the Lord could be present. 

This week my daughter asked me about homeschool experiences I’ve had, and it reminded me of the many happy, spiritual, and sometimes difficult times we’ve shared as a family, because of homeschooling. The biggest blessing of homeschooling has been having the time at home with my children.  Time to discuss the gospel together, along with history, science, math, and English.  Time to cook together, sew quilts together, and make music together. We had time to read great books aloud together, to direct and act out plays, to create our own inventions, and to memorize seminary scriptures. My youngest and I memorized The Living Christ together, then she went on to memorize The Family: A Proclamation to the World, as well. We learned, played, and shared that time together in our home.

This scripture refers to the temple, the Lord’s house, but applies to our houses as well, and describes what I strive for in my own home:

“And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith.

Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God;

That your incomings may be in the name of the Lord; that your outgoings may be in the name of the Lord; that all your salutations may be in the name of the Lord, with uplifted hands unto the Most High.”  Doctrine and Covenants 88:118-120

Home is holidays, traditions, joy, heartache, shared meals, nurturing, laughter, failure, unity, and family—people to teach us how to love. Sometimes people use the term “broken home” when referring to situations of children with divorced parents, however, the Great Healer can mend all broken things. No matter the tragedies, the mistakes, the detours in my family situation, I choose to keep my focus on the Savior and stand in the holy place within the walls of my home.

 “Amidst the bustle of the secular world, with its certain uncertainty, there must be places that offer spiritual refuge, renewal, hope, and peace. There are indeed such places. They are both holy and sacred. They are places where we meet the divine and find the Spirit of the Lord.” Elder Dennis B. Neuenschwander

Our homes are holy places, like the church and the temple.  With home-centered, church supported gospel learning as a focus, we have the opportunity to increase our efforts to shape our homes into places where the Holy Ghost is welcome and feels comfortable, offering us more peace and joy in these holy sanctuaries.