Loss | Hiccups and Hope https://hiccupsandhope.com hiccups in life that strengthen hope in Christ Mon, 25 Mar 2019 14:49:29 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.2.11 Healing in His Wings https://hiccupsandhope.com/2019/03/25/healing-in-his-wings/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=healing-in-his-wings https://hiccupsandhope.com/2019/03/25/healing-in-his-wings/#comments Mon, 25 Mar 2019 14:49:27 +0000 https://hiccupsandhope.com/?p=4987 We’ve all been wounded need healing. The words in the scriptures that assure us Christ will come with “healing in His wings,” are beautiful to me. I visualize his arms reaching out, ready to embrace, comfort, and heal me whenever I call on Him. I feel like Lehi when he said, “I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.”

The post Healing in His Wings appeared first on Hiccups and Hope.

]]>

“We search for happiness. We long for peace. We hope for love. And the Lord showers us with an amazing abundance of blessings. But intermingled with the joy and happiness, one thing is certain: there will be moments, hours, days, sometimes years when your soul will be wounded.” Neil A. Anderson

We’ve all been wounded and need healing. The words in the scriptures that assure us Christ will come with “healing in His wings,” are beautiful to me.  I visualize his arms reaching out, ready to embrace, comfort, and heal me whenever I call on Him. I feel like Lehi when he said, “I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.” While I know it’s through my Savior’s grace that I’m healed, I recognize that the healing He offers usually requires some effort on my part.  When I’m willing to listen to the Spirit and do the work I’m led to do, I progress more rapidly, and am blessed with bright moments of joy. The Lord is always right here with me, leading me to the people and tools that will best teach and heal me.

 “O Lord my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me.”

Psalm 30:2

We’re used to instant gratification in our high-speed, high-tech world, but healing requires time and patience, along with hard work. It can be a slow, difficult quest, but those who seek healing will find a path perfectly designed for them by the Lord. Most days, I feel like I’m still at the beginning of a long road, but looking back reminds me I’ve made progress.  Here are some of the tools that help me on my journey. 

Pray without ceasing. Staying close to Heavenly Father and Jesus through daily, nearly constant, prayer, has been my solace. My heart is comforted knowing that Jesus has felt everything I feel, I’m not alone, and it’s OK to feel what I feel and share it all with Him.

Take Time to Grieve. When we experience trauma or loss, it leaves a gaping wound in our spirit—an injury nobody can see.  Life goes on around us, while we stand there in shock, devastated and disoriented. We need time to catch our breath, find our way, grieve the loss of the life we knew before.  Practicing self-compassion, treating ourselves with tender care during this painful time, will help steady the ground under our feet. It’s not easy to learn to say no and accept our limitations without feeling guilty.  When we begin to come out of the darkness, serving others is like a salve. As we open our hearts and use our hands to lift others, our burdens are lightened.

Reach out for help. When my heart is hurting, I want to crawl under the covers and hide. While that may be what I need for a little while, I’m mostly hiding from myself, my feelings, my pain.  Healing requires feeling the pain, addressing it, moving through it.  Some experiences are too hard to face alone, and often we don’t have the knowledge we need to find our way through the maze of difficult feelings. Professional counseling has been instrumental in my healing process. I’ve also found comfort by reaching out to safe, loving friends, who are strong enough to listen and sit with me in my pain.

Put feelings, struggles, and thoughts down on paper.  Journaling has been an eye-opening, soul wrenching, and freeing practice for me. Revisiting painful experiences takes courage!  It’s grueling work.  As I write out the hurt, the anger, the fear, the regrets, and the sorrow, I make discoveries about myself and others.  I challenge and explore my perceptions, my actions, and my mistakes. In those moments of complete honesty and humility, the Lord blesses me with better understanding and more forgiveness for myself and those I love.

Take care of our bodies. Even on a good day, this one is hard, but my mind is calmer and clearer when I eat well, exercise, and breathe. If I resist the call of chocolate and use one of the other tools instead, I make tiny leaps forward.  Handling challenges is much easier with a strong, healthy body. Doing these things for myself reminds me that I matter; I am worth caring for.

Read good books. When I find a great book and do the work suggested, I’m amazed at the insights I discover. Some books that have been beneficial in my healing are:

Daring Greatly (Brené Brown), Great Day Every Day (Max Lucado), Inner Bonding (Margaret Paul), The Artists Way (Julia Cameron), Boundaries (Henry Cloud and John Townsend), Mindfulness An Eight Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World (Mark Williams and Danny Penman) This one is best as an audio book.

Listen to uplifting music. Music has magical healing qualities. Uplifting music reaches inside me, brings up my tears, turns my aching heart to my Savior, and reminds me I will survive this latest crisis. My personal recording artist from Heaven is Hilary Weeks. For more than 20 years, she’s been there for me, speaking straight to my heart. I thank God for the gift of her music and testimony.

Here are some of my favorite Christian “fight songs” to try when you need reminding that you can do this crazy hard life.

Hilary Weeks—”Tell Your Heart to Beat Again” “The Beginning” “Brave”

Calee Reed—”The Comeback” “Broken and Beautiful” “Giants Fall”

Mandisa—”Stronger” “Overcomer” “Say Goodbye “

Hold on to the truths we know. Though it’s sometimes painful, going to church and attending the temple always bless me. Studying the Book of Mormon and General Conference talks has been a strength to me throughout my life and is a source of comfort and guidance in the dark. In the Book of Mormon, fasting is mentioned in close connection with mourning, and fasting has brought the Comforter close in my grieving. I’ve found hidden treasures during Topical Guide searches on trust, fear, joy, and hope. I feel hope as I read about faithful people who have gone through painful experiences. Their stories are resolved, their lessons learned.  I’m in the middle right now, but like those who’ve come before me, trusting in the Lord, I will have a victorious ending.

“…Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Psalm 30:5

Practice gratitude. Life is still beautiful.  When I focus on all that is right and good and sweet in my life, noticing the miracles and blessings all around me, I feel the love of my Savior and know I will be OK.

 “My brothers and sisters, it is my promise to you that increasing your faith in the Lord Jesus Christ will bring you added strength and greater hope. For you, the righteous, the Healer of our souls, in His time and His way, will heal all your wounds. No injustice, no persecution, no trial, no sadness, no heartache, no suffering, no wound—however deep, however wide, however painful—will be excluded from the comfort, peace, and lasting hope of Him whose open arms and whose wounded hands will welcome us back into His presence.” Neil A. Anderson

 

About Me

I’m Jen, mother of 7 amazing humans, Gran of 5 (so far), divorce survivor, homebody, health seeker, and devoted follower of Jesus. This is the place where I share how the hiccups and detours in the road of my life strengthen my hope in Christ.

The post Healing in His Wings appeared first on Hiccups and Hope.

]]>
https://hiccupsandhope.com/2019/03/25/healing-in-his-wings/feed/ 6
Miss You, Dad https://hiccupsandhope.com/2019/02/25/miss-you-dad/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=miss-you-dad https://hiccupsandhope.com/2019/02/25/miss-you-dad/#respond Mon, 25 Feb 2019 03:25:33 +0000 https://hiccupsandhope.com/?p=4883 Today I’m thinking about my Dad and hoping to somehow honor him with a few words from my heart. It’s been five years since he returned to his Heavenly home.

The post Miss You, Dad appeared first on Hiccups and Hope.

]]>

Today I’m thinking about my Dad and hoping to somehow honor him with a few words from my heart. It’s been five years since he returned to his Heavenly home.  As I began to write about my love for him and how he’s influenced me, I read my own tribute to him, which I shared at his memorial service. It covered a big part of what I wanted to convey, so I share some of it again here.

Dad was easy to love.  He was gentle and kind and friendly.  He had a great outlook on life.  He was a happy man, who brought happiness to others. 

Dad was a doer. He liked being busy, useful, and active. He jogged, biked, played golf, bowled, did anything outdoors, including tons of yard work.  He loved to work on his yard—it was his project for many years.  Recently he switched his project to a longtime dream of his: restoring a car. The grandkids enjoyed sharing those plans with him, and his friends helped him with the details.

Dad had 12 grandchildren and loved to see their successes and talents.  He attended many recitals, orchestra concerts, and sporting events to cheer them on. Even in his 60’s he could outplay them in most sports! Every single one of them felt his testimony and influence.  He was like a father to his oldest granddaughter, and he filled that role with love and gentleness. Dad only had daughters, so he had a lot of fun with his grandsons. He taught them how to work!  He showed them how to treat women by his sweet, old-fashioned chivalry to my mom, my grandmothers, and his girls. He has been a hero to us in taking care of his “Sweet Companion” and “Dearie Face,” as he called her.  His devotion to her was a testament to his beautiful character.  He adored her.

He shared his love for family freely.  He didn’t have trouble saying, “I love you,” but even more, every day of his life, he showed his love by his actions.   We knew he loved us and was there for us.  Every one of us called on him many times, knowing he was happy to help, to serve, to do anything we needed.  And he always did it with a smile. Because of his unconditional love, acceptance, and kind, gentle ways, we are better able to understand a loving Heavenly Father, who is always there when we need Him and will love us no matter what.     

Dad was an example of loyalty to family, covenants, and God. He loved his calling in the church, working with the Bishopric. Right after he had his first stroke, while he was in the hospital, he told me the tithing reports were all ready to go.  He gave Mom directions about them and asked the Bishop about it when he visited Dad in the hospital.   His duty was important to him, and his valiant service was an inspiration to all of us.   He led our family as an honorable Priesthood holder.  He ordained grandsons, gave school blessings, was an escort for a grandson at the temple, and has been a wonderful example of how the Priesthood is used to bless and strengthen families.

We are thankful for the tender mercy of having a month, after Dad’s first stroke, to serve him.  It was hard for him to be served, but it gave us such joy to have the blessing of caring for him in this small way, to give back a tiny portion of all that he’s done for us. 

Dad was a humble man.  He didn’t know of his greatness.  He didn’t realize his influence, strength, and success.  He wasn’t a man of wealth, but he was rich in character and virtue.  He wasn’t a scholar, but he taught us from the scriptures and led us with his wisdom.  He knew we loved him, but he didn’t know he was our hero.

At that time, the grandkids each wrote a few thoughts honoring him, entitled, “Do You Know How Much You’re Loved?”  The common threads they shared were their admiration of his dedication and service to his wife, daughters, and others, his hard work and cheerfulness, his strength in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and the time he spent with each of them. They absolutely knew he loved them and wanted him to know how much they loved him in return.

One of our last, and most precious, happy memories of Dad was just before his birthday, less than two months before he unexpectedly had a stroke and died a few weeks later.  My sisters and I had come to celebrate with Mom and Dad, and we all went out to a nice lunch.  Dad was especially happy for the rare chance to have us all together.  Smiling, he looked at each of us and said,

 “While we are all here together, I want you girls to know that I am happy. I am truly happy. I have everything I need and more: a sweet companion, you girls, a nice home, work, great friends, and enough income for our needs. I like what I do, where I am, and who I am. I wake up every day happy.”

That’s how I remember my dad.  Happy.  Contented.  Grateful.  I think about him every day and miss him more each year. He was the man we could always rely on.  Constant and safe.  He had a certain look he gave us girls, when he smiled and called us darlin’. In my mind, I can still see that smile, his eyes looking adoringly at me.  I think of it often when I need to remember I’m special and I’m loved.    

You didn’t know your smile made me feel adored.

You didn’t see the way your solid, dependable presence helped me feel safe.

You didn’t think you made a difference in my life and the lives of all those who knew you.

You didn’t realize you were an example of Christlike love and service to us all.

You didn’t understand that you’re my hero.

I’ve learned, since Dad left us, how precious our time is with those we love. I had no idea how much I’d miss him or how close he would feel sometimes. I’m thankful for my testimony of Christ’s atonement and His victory over death. I know, through faithfully honoring temple covenants, families can be together forever.

Like the Savior, Dad went about doing good.  He wasn’t perfect, but he was a saint. When I look at the quiet life of service he led, it fills me with love for him and hope for myself, that I, too, can steadily press forward and finish the work I’ve been sent here to do. 

About Me

I’m Jen, mother of 7 amazing humans, Gran of 5 (so far), divorce survivor, homebody, health seeker, and devoted follower of Jesus. This is the place where I share how the hiccups and detours in the road of my life strengthen my hope in Christ.

The post Miss You, Dad appeared first on Hiccups and Hope.

]]>
https://hiccupsandhope.com/2019/02/25/miss-you-dad/feed/ 0