“And this is life eternal, that they may know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou has sent.” John 17:3

I’ve been blessed two times in my life with the opportunity to return a tiny bit of the care and service a parent gave to me. Six years ago, my dad had a stroke, very unexpectedly, and my two sisters and I spent his remaining few weeks, physically and emotionally taking care of him and reminding him it wasn’t a burden, but a gift, to serve him. I’ll forever be thankful for that special, though painful, time and the lessons I learned about love. Now, quite unexpectedly again, we’ve been granted the opportunity to tend our mother in her final days on earth. We’re blessed with time to share the precious and spiritual moments that come when Heaven draws close.

Both Mom and Dad were concerned for us, that we had to take on the difficult task of caring for someone no longer able care for themselves. Those who once provided for us, and diligently attended our every need, felt sorrow at asking us to do the same for them, in their need. As children becoming adults, we learn to be independent, which is a good thing, but we usually aren’t taught how to gracefully accept that the circle of life generally leads to the independent once again becoming weak and dependent. It requires humility and perspective of the plan—the sweet plan of our Father in Heaven—which allows us the opportunity to return, in a small way, the years of sacrifice and service of a loving parent.

“Even after years of teaching and hearing lessons on serving others and accepting service, we found that to actually let someone help us was difficult to do. But, as we allowed them to help us, we soon found our hearts full of thanks for their thoughtfulness.

“…Is it hard to give? Yes. It’s a sacrifice on someone’s part. Is it difficult to receive? Yes. But we love those who serve us and those we may serve.” JoAnn Randall

One day, in caring for my mom, I was bending over the bed, rubbing cream on her feet. For some reason, when she became very distressed, her feet began to itch unbearably, adding to her discomfort. After a particularly difficult evening, after she was settled and feeling better, I got out the cream to try to alleviate further irritation of her feet.  As I gently massaged the cream into her cold, dry feet, gently rubbing each small toe, I distinctly felt the Savior whisper to my aching heart, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these…ye have done it unto me.” As the tears flowed, I suddenly realized that although I received joy from serving my sweet mother, the thought that I was also serving my Jesus filled me with eternal gratitude. That He accepted my small acts of love to my mother as acts of love to Him, blessed me with a peace and joy I can’t express.

There are times in life when every day, every moment, is so intense, it feels like it will never get better, never pass. Of course, It always eventually does. Every woman who’s ever had a baby knows that feeling, near the end, that “This baby is never going to come and I’m going to be pregnant and miserable the rest of my life.” But eventually the time always arrives. During those times, we often think of the trial, or the difficult part, as something that keeps us from our lives: a distraction, a hurdle, a period where time seems to stand still and our “normal” life is put on hold. Recently a wise and cherished friend texted me, “This is life. You are living it! One breath at a time. One moment at a time you are getting it done.” She then expressed her love for me, her support. I’ve thought of those words every day. This time of caring for my dying mother is not something that’s keeping me from my life.  This is my life, and I’m living it, and learning, and loving, and, because of these, often excruciating, experiences, I’m drawing closer to my beloved Savior.

“The Lord has said, ‘If thou lovest me thou shalt serve me,’ and we serve Him by serving others.

“As we serve, we draw closer to God. We come to know Him in ways that we otherwise might not. Our faith in Him increases. Our problems are put into perspective. Life becomes more satisfying. Our love for others increases, as well as our desire to serve. Through this blessed process, we become more like God, and we are better prepared to return to Him.” Carl B. Cook

“Grace. The main idea of the word is divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ.”   Bible Dictionary

One of the sweetest blessings in my life is my knowledge of God’s plan for His children. My greatest comfort and hope lie in looking to the future with an eternal perspective, understanding this life is short, temporary, and one day “God shall wipe away all tears from our eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” My faith and testimony of Jesus Christ give me courage to keep plodding along on my earthy trek, but at times I look to my temporary future with anxiety and fear.  I forget that I don’t have to travel it alone.

Recently my mom, who lives with me, called me (upstairs) in the middle of the night to tell me she had fallen and needed help.  I ran down the stairs into her bedroom, and the first thing I saw was blood smeared all over the floor and her glasses, bent and twisted beside it.  It trailed into her second room, where I found her sitting on her recliner, her face covered in blood, with a nasty cut above her eyebrow, bruised and bleeding, and another one on her cheekbone, skin torn and jagged. Though it made me flinch inside to see her like that, I felt a calmness come over me.  I knew I had to deal with whatever needed to be done.  Thankfully, Mom was OK.  I counted it a miracle she had been able to get up from the floor and get to her chair.  She was calm, coherent, and not in too much pain. I called 911 (for the second time in my life), and we headed to the ER, after the paramedics checked her out and settled her in the ambulance.

It was Mom’s second fall in two weeks, the first one scary, but no injuries.  This time she’d been bending down to pick up her little dog, and toppled over onto her head.  She didn’t want to go to the hospital, but once she knew she must, she was brave and had a good attitude.  We spent the rest of the night in the ER while they did tests, gave her fluids for dehydration, and stitched and taped up her cuts.

Sitting in the ER with Mom, I was thankful for trained people who could help her, that her injuries were minor, and she would be well again quickly. I had plenty of time to think about how much I love Mom and value our closeness, as well as many thoughts of my dad (the other 911 call) and the time I spent with him in the ER after his stroke and subsequent emergencies in the following weeks. His injuries were not so minor, and we had no guarantees that he would be well again.  After three weeks of ups and downs, hospital, rehab, home for 2 days, then back to ER, Dad left us to return to his Heavenly home. Although I can’t say I felt calm in Dad’s emergencies, I could feel my Savior helping me face each day and strengthening me to be there for him.   

The memories of that terrifying, uncertain time–five years ago–and the grief that followed, often cause fear and anxiety about the future, taking care of my mom.  When I picture scary things happening to her and what we might have to go through, my imagination forgets to include the grace I’ve received in other times of trouble.  Just as I had divine help with my dad’s situation and my mom’s recent fall, I can rely on it for future challenges, of any kind, in my life. Amazing grace. In quiet moments, when I feel the Spirit, I know I won’t be alone.  I know I’ll be given what I need. I know because it has been proven over and over.

“It is one thing to know that Jesus Christ came to earth to die for us. That is fundamental and foundational to the doctrine of Christ. But we also need to appreciate that the Lord desires, through His Atonement and by the power of the Holy Ghost, to live in us—not only to direct us but also to empower us.” David A. Bednar

Despite my faith in the Lord, I haven’t gotten to the point where I welcome trials. I’m still in the “please don’t make me do that” stage.  I’m hoping I will eventually be able to do as King Benjamin teaches and become as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon me, even as a child doth submit to his father.

In Mosiah 24, Alma and his people are in bondage to Lamanites, and Amulon is causing them grief with persecution and placing heavy burdens on their backs. When they cry to God aloud, they are threatened with death, so they pray in their hearts and God hears and answers them.  But He doesn’t free them from slavery at that time. He provides grace.

“And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.” Mosiah 24:15 

I’ll be honest, when I read the part about them submitting cheerfully and with patience, I feel grumpy.  I want to be like that, but cheerfulness and patience?  I’m lucky to have a smidgen of either. The story continues, that “so great was their faith and their patience” that eventually the Lord provided the way for them to escape and settle in a safe place.  

I love my Heavenly Father. I’m grateful He is immeasurably patient with me. I know He’s aware of me and hears my own cries for help and strength. I know within His plan, I have a safe place. I’m trying to become less a cranky, petulant child and more a cheerfully submissive one, as I stumble along the path He has set out for me.  I know the Savior’s hand is there, reaching out to me, and I gratefully cling to it and keep going.

“It is through the grace of the Lord Jesus, made possible by His atoning sacrifice, that mankind will be raised in immortality, every person receiving his body from the grave in a condition of everlasting life. It is likewise through the grace of the Lord that individuals, through faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance of their sins, receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means. This grace is an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation after they have expended their own best efforts.” Bible Dictionary