“The health of any society, the happiness of its people, their prosperity, and their peace all find common roots in the teaching of children in the home.” L. Tom Perry

As another school year begins tomorrow, I celebrate 20 years as a homeschooling mom! It’s crazy, honestly, that it’s been that long. Although many people choose alternate schooling rather than public school now, homeschooling is still far from the norm and is regularly questioned, sometimes even disdained or mocked, by adults and children alike. To accept the responsibility for a child’s education at home is to swim against the current, which can be difficult for both the mommy fish and the rest of the “school.” Overall, however, I’ve loved it.  It’s been a blessing and a joy having the opportunity to watch my children grow and to learn along with them.  It has also been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I knew the Lord wanted me to homeschool, so I faced the unknowns, the challenges, the skeptics, and most of all—the CHILDREN.  Day after day.  Battle after battle.  It wasn’t perfect, not even close, but it was rewarding and strengthening to our family. 

A few things I’ve learned from being a homeschooling mom:

• Each one of us is a child of God and He loves and cares about us individually. He even cares about the little things, the details. He ministers to us one by one. He heard my prayer about what to do for a precious daughter, a free and joyful spirit whose light was being dimmed by her public school experience, and He answered me.  He loves and cares about me, and He loves and cares about her, too.

Elder M. Russell Ballard affirms mothers’ divine role in cherishing and teaching their children.  “There is no one perfect way to be a good mother,” he says.  “Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children.” Elder Ballard acknowledges that some women are “able to be ‘full-time moms,’ [and that] some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work,” but that “what matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.”

• When Heavenly Father asks us to do something, He gives us the strength, the courage, and the help we need to accomplish it—just like Nephi said. I was the mother of six children, one just a baby, when He called me to teach my children at home.  I had no idea how to make that happen. I didn’t know the laws, the requirements, any of the details. I didn’t know how I’d do it with my baby and five other kids, four of whom chose homeschooling.  I just knew God wanted me to do it, and that it was for my children.  Knowing those two things made me brave! He prepared the way.  He lovingly provided friends, mentors, inspiration, resources, and physical and emotional strength beyond my own.   

• Each child of God on this earth is a one-of-a-kind individual with a different situation, different desires, and different gifts. I love that each of my children is unique and different from the others, and the way their gifts and characteristics strengthen our family, as a whole. Seeing this in action has given me a greater desire to love and appreciate all of God’s children the way they are—all different, all beautiful, all interesting and gifted in various ways. I also enjoy my children’s shared family traits and things they have in common.  In the same way, we have much in common with our brothers and sisters all over this earth. With schooling, even in my own family, there was the same variety. Out of seven children, I had one that only attended public school, five that had some homeschooling and some public school, and one that only homeschooled. One daughter went to public school until sixth grade, then homeschooled through graduation from high school.  She had a one-student ceremony in a big, grassy backyard with family and friends, wore an orange cap and gown, and “walked” to the Theme from Star Wars.  It was awesome. Another daughter homeschooled until attending sixth and seventh grade in Utah, then homeschooled eighth grade after we moved back to Vegas, before finishing up with four years at the public high school. We took it one child, one circumstance, one prayer at a time and did what we felt was the right for each of them at any given moment.  

• When we act on the inspiration we are given from a loving Father in Heaven, through the Spirit, we are blessed in more, and farther reaching, ways than we could ever imagine. Homeschooling provided time to study the gospel every single day, along with history, science, and math. My children learned to read by finding “and” and “the” in the scriptures. We read about Columbus, The Pilgrims, and the Revolutionary War in The Book of Mormon, along with the history books. We read about Creation in Genesis and The Pearl of Great Price, along with evolution in our science books. I was able to teach my children those things that are most important and share my testimony with them. We had the spirit in our classroom. Of course, all of those things can happen in a non-homeschooling home, but I am a morning person.  I don’t function well after dinnertime (maybe even lunchtime some days).  For me, having that time in the morning was a huge blessing. Many years later, some of my grandchildren enjoy some of the same blessings of homeschooling.

“Neither the alphabet nor the multiplication table should be taught without the Spirit of God.” –Brigham Young

(as quoted by Karl G. Maeser, Educating Zion p.2)

I could go on all day; it turns out 20 years is a long time. Five of my children are University Graduates and degree holders. Now my youngest is a junior and will graduate “high school” having homeschooled her whole schooling career. I’m thankful for the gifts of homeschooling. I think all of my kids are smart, talented, amazing people. I’m thankful to know Heavenly Father loves them even more than I do and let me be their mother. 

In the Lord’s prayer, the Savior instructs us to say, “Thy will be done.” He then teaches us what this looks like by His perfect example throughout His life and, most poignantly, during His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane. When discussing this concept in a ward I was visiting, a woman shared, “I feel like I have a plan—an idea—of what my life should look like and what I will do.  But over and over I find that God’s plan for my life is different than mine.  I wonder sometimes why He doesn’t like any of my ideas. I feel like they’re pretty good.  It’s easy to turn our will over to Him when it’s not something we really care about, but when we have strong feelings about it, bending our will to His can be really hard!”  

Do we believe that His idea, His plan, His will, is better than ours?

 “Your life will be easier when you accept that what God does in your life is for your eternal good.” Richard G. Scott

 Years ago, I had a child who was breaking the rules.  I scoured parenting books and tried various behavior modification methods, but nothing helped.  I felt the need for more drastic action. I prayed about my decision and the answer, clearly, was, “No.” I was upset and discouraged. How could I ever be a good parent if my interpretation of the scriptures and words of the prophets had not been the right thing to do? I forgot that the Lord taught, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways…” I was completely missing the point that because I had prayed, He was guiding me to do what was best for this particular child—one He knows well and loves. God won’t leave me alone to figure it out! I have all the tools I need if I do my best and then seek direction from the Holy Ghost. 

I’ve been blessed for accepting God’s will and following His direction. After living in Utah for three years, I had a strong impression that our family needed to move back to Las Vegas.  I didn’t want to.  At all.  I liked my new area and friends and dreaded taking my family back to a place with so many in-your-face temptations and evil influences. I especially worried about my son, who was just about to start his senior year in high school.  Knowing it would be hard on him, I shared with him my feeling that Heavenly Father wanted us to move. He was sad about it, but didn’t grumble, instead, he looked at me and simply said, “If you feel that’s what we’re supposed to do, then I’m good with that.” His faith strengthened mine and helped me get through that hard time. I couldn’t understand how it could be a good idea to move back, but I believed God knew.

A few years later, my dad, who lived near us, had a sudden and unexpected stroke, and only lived a few short weeks before returning to his Heavenly home.  I was blessed to be by his bedside, helping and supporting him, and being there to comfort my sisters and my mom.  After his death, Mom needed help, so we made some adjustments to our home and invited her to live with us.  She’s been with me since that time, five years ago.  I’ve been continually thankful that I listened to the prompting to move close to them. Our Father in Heaven knows what we need and kindly, generously, leads us, if we let Him.

“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good…” Alma 37:37

A couple of years ago, my mother-in-law began losing strength in her legs and having balance trouble.  Several times she fell and had to be helped up, even needing the paramedics to come in a time or two.  During a visit, my father-in-law told me that sometimes she couldn’t get up from kneeling to say her prayers.  I was stunned.  This dear, faithful, elderly lady was still kneeling for her prayers, even when she could barely stand on her weakened legs. I felt humbled by her example. I don’t kneel as often as I should.  I had knee trouble for several years, which made kneeling painful and distracting.  I stopped kneeling during that time and got out of the habit. Her dedication made me want to do better.

Often, I pray in my car. This started when I was attending the temple weekly. The 40-minute drive became my favorite time to pour out my soul, away from family interruptions, noise, and distractions. Now I sit in my car while my daughter attends early morning seminary.  In the quiet, the dark, I again have the distraction-free space to have a heart-to-heart with my Father. There’s something about praying aloud that heightens my connection with Him.  When I’m alone, I can be completely genuine, letting out all my tears, my fears, and my hopes to my Father in Heaven.  I have no doubt that He hears me.

“Make time every day to share your thoughts and feelings with Him. Tell Him everything that concerns you. He is interested in the most important as well as the most mundane facets of your life. Share with Him your full range of feelings and experiences.”

Richard G. Scott

Recently, while visiting my daughter, I joined in the family prayer.  As I listened, I was brought to tears by the sweet words of my grandson, “Please bless Gran.” Hearing the high, innocent, trusting tones of that boy, asking his Heavenly Father to bless me, humbled and touched my heart deeply. I experienced a tender feeling of being loved and nurtured.

One of my favorite scripture passages is John 17, where the Savior prays for His apostles and for all those who believe on Him through their word.  That includes me. He asks that we can be one with Him and Heavenly Father, know that they love us, and be made perfect so we can be with them forever. Jesus prays for me.

Prayer is a gift.  Expressing our deepest, most distressing or joyful feelings, helps us more fully understand, internalize, and absorb them. The scriptures tell us He knows what things we have need of, but many times we have no idea what we really need.  Praying is more than asking; it’s sharing who we are deep inside, trusting that He will still love us and bless us with all we need.  It strengthens our relationship with Him as we get to better know and love Him.

Life is unpredictable.  There are so many circumstances that are out of our control, people we can’t help, problems we can’t solve.  When something is troubling us or someone is hurting, we can pray, and know that we are heard and loved. Knowing the Father of us all is calmly in control, knows what’s best for each of us, and will help us in every circumstance, is a blessing I cherish.