Last week, my youngest and I spent a week with my daughter and her family, who live about 8 hours (driving) from our house. It was a wonderful time of celebration and rejoicing, as my oldest grandson had his eighth birthday and chose to follow Jesus Christ and be baptized and confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He had been preparing and knew what it meant to make that covenant. He’s a serious and sensitive boy and seeing the light in his eyes on his baptism day brought me pure joy. No wonder the Savior tells us we need to be like little children. Days like that remind me that true joy is eternal, while sorrows are temporary.   

It’s easy to forget, amid the strife and struggle of day-to-day survival, the simplicity and love of Heavenly Father’s plan. The natural man forgets good things, which is probably why “remember” is a frequent word in the scriptures. The temple is also a place of remembering as our perspective becomes more clearly focused. If I go a few weeks without going to the temple, I forget that this moment, this anxiety, this struggle, is not forever. I’m afraid, even though I know God watches over me and those I love, because I forget to trust.

A week before our trip to my daughter’s home, her 18-month-old toddler took a tumble down their stairs and suffered a concussion. She had to have quiet and low stimuli, be constantly watched, and stay home.  Not so easy with two busy brothers, a birthday, and a baptism during the week! We went earlier than planned so we could help.  Thankfully, she’s comfortable with me and I was able to hold her and rock her and help in any way I could. However, I found that when I wasn’t the one watching her, my anxiety spiked and occasionally I had to leave the room, put in my earbuds, and listen to something to drown out the sounds in the house. I was the Gran, not the Mom, and it was hard not to be in charge.  I became more fearful and anxious when it was time to go home. I was sad and wondered how my daughter would be able to manage without us there—it was tricky even with three of us taking care of the kids while her husband was at work. I forgot to trust the Lord to take care of that precious little one, whom I know He loves even more than I do.  After we left, my son, who’d come for the baptism, spent the day entertaining the little boys.  The rest of the week, friends and ward members stepped in to help when it was needed, and my daughter was given what she needed to get by. I may forget, but Jesus never does. 

“I [will] not forget thee, O house of Israel.

“Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.” Isaiah 49:15-16

When I returned home from the trip, my mom told me that the day I’d left, she’d fallen.  My mom lives with me, and my sisters live within 15 minutes of our home. Mom’s health is generally OK, but it can be unpredictable, and we always pray for her to be protected while we’re away. She and I texted a couple of times each day, my son was around, when he wasn’t at work, and my sisters checked on her. I was shocked to hear that she’d fallen—all the way to the ground.  Nobody was home when it happened, and her phone wasn’t close by.  Amazingly, she only received a big bruise on her arm, and wasn’t hurt in any other way.  Somehow, she was able to get up.  I was humbled by this tender mercy, because she hadn’t been able to get down to the floor or up from the floor for several years.  She got stuck kneeling down once and I couldn’t get her up by myself.  It was literally a miracle she wasn’t hurt and was able to get up on her own. As I thought about this, sincerely thanking my Father in Heaven for this answer to our prayers for her safety, the feeling struck me that He was reminding me that I can trust Him.  I’m not in charge.  He is.  And He’s ever so much better at it than I am!  I forget.  He lovingly reminds me. 

“Every good man and woman…[is] in the hands of [the] Lord.  They are before him, his eye upon them, his angels round about them that they might endure afflictions, suffer pain [and] buffeting by Satan, pass through scenes of afflictions enough to wring their natural hearts out of them, comparatively.  Yet God [will] take care of them.” 

 (Brigham Young, Sept. 23, 1852, Mary Fielding Smith’s funeral)

When my sons received their mission calls to share the gospel of Jesus Christ and went away for two years each-one to Africa and one, two years later, to Canada-I had a hard time. Though I was happy, knowing it was exactly where each was supposed to go and believed he would have the experiences he most needed, I was worried and anxious. To combat my fears, I used a visualization.  As I drove my son to the Mission Training Center, I imagined the Savior’s strong and capable hands cupped and reaching out to me. I saw myself placing my son, held in my own cupped hands, into the Savior’s hands, completely turning over his care to the only One who could truly protect him. Mission time then became a blessing to me, as I grew closer to each son with heartfelt weekly emails and many blessings from Heaven. While there have been many times I’ve placed loved ones and situations into the loving hands of my Savior, there have also been times I’ve forgotten to do this and felt the weight of the world on my own shoulders, instead.  

“I am convinced that none of us can appreciate how deeply it wounds the loving heart of the Savior of the world when he finds that His people do not feel confident in His care or secure in His hands.” Jeffrey R. Holland

All week I’ve thought about trust.  I’ve tried to remember Him always, but last night, even while writing about it, I found myself worrying, with my friend and fellow worrier, about the youth conference group that wasn’t answering cell phones, an hour after the time designated for parents to pick up kids. Her handy-dandy tracker said, “location unavailable.”  That’s not a comfortable place for me. Soon after, they reached cell service and let us know they were alive. Sigh. I wish I were better at always remembering.  

 “There is nothing easy or automatic about becoming such powerful disciples. Our focus must be riveted on the Savior and His gospel.  It is mentally rigorous to strive to look unto Him in every thought.   But when we do, our doubts and fears flee.”

President Russell M. Nelson