“Before we were born, we lived in a family with our exalted and eternal Heavenly Father. He ordained a plan that enables us to advance and progress to become like Him. He did it out of love for us. The purpose of the plan was to allow us the privilege of living forever as our Heavenly Father lives. This gospel plan offered us a life of mortality in which we would be tested. A promise was given that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, if we obeyed the laws and priesthood ordinances of the gospel, we would have eternal life, the greatest of all His gifts.” Henry B. Eyring

Lately I’ve spent a good deal of time thinking about our Heavenly Home. I’m certain we have one. We lived there before we came to earth, to get a body and gain experience, learn and be tested; and we’ll live there again after this life is over. When circumstances in my life are pushing me to my limits, I’m comforted by the promises in the scriptures about home—safe, loving home with Heavenly Parents and my brother, Jesus Christ.

“…Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body…are taken home to that God who gave them life.

“And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.” Alma 40:11-12

I’ve had sweet experiences in my life which strengthen my testimony of a life after this one, in Heavenly Father’s plan for His children. I’ve felt comfort, help, and messages of love from family members who have left this earth life. In the temple, I’ve felt my Grandpa’s acceptance of baptismal covenants and other ancestors’ gratitude for marriage sealings and other ordinances, performed by proxy. During special, sacred family moments, I’ve felt the presence of family members no longer with us. All my experiences with eternal family ties help me see death as a temporary, though heart wrenching, goodbye.

“When families are functioning as designed by God, the relationships found therein are the most valued of mortality. The plan of the Father is that family love and companionship will continue into the eternities. Being one in a family carries a great responsibility of caring, loving, lifting, and strengthening each member of the family so that all can righteously endure to the end in mortality and dwell together throughout eternity.” Robert D. Hales

On Christmas Day we lost my mom’s cousin, Pam, a dear friend, to cancer. She was Mom’s beach buddy and a funny, brave, optimistic example of living life to its fullest. We were sad to say goodbye, even temporarily.  It’s also my Dad’s and my Grandpa’s birthdays this week. I miss both of these loving gentlemen. Dad’s been gone almost 6 years, and I think of him all the time, especially since Mom is struggling with her health. I know he sees; he helps; he still loves us.

Mom has had back pain on and off for many years. She has arthritis and doesn’t get around much, and her back pain has been worsening with age. In the last couple of months, the pain increased, almost daily, until it was hard for her to move much at all. Our hearts hurt to see her suffering, as we all struggled to get her help and find answers. She had tests done, which showed some fine fractures and multiple small lesions in her back. One morning, while I was at the temple, and my sister was with Mom, she developed serious pain in her side. It was so intense, my sister had to call 911, and Mom went to the ER.  I was given a message at the temple and met them at the hospital, along with my other sister. The three of us sat together, impatiently waiting to be allowed to go in with Mom. It was a sad and frightening reminder of our journey with Dad, several years ago. The myriad of unknowns. The watching a loved one suffer. The deepening certainty that life was changing drastically for us all.  It was also a reminder of the strength and love of our family bond. The comfort that we weren’t alone in this. The knowledge that we were a team—a good team—and would do whatever had to be done, together.

After more scans, they found more lesions, including a large one on her liver. Her side pain eased, and with help to control pain, we were able to get her home, where she desperately wanted to be. The next step was a PET scan, to determine if the lesions were cancerous, as suspected, but because of her pain, and anxiety of enclosed spaces, the experience was frightening and miserable for all of us. We quickly, shockingly became aware that this was just the beginning of our fearful and difficult journey as we learned that Mom has stage IV cancer, in her colon, her liver, and her bones.

This is all new and sudden. We still have so many unanswered questions, most of which will remain unanswered. She’ll have a biopsy to determine the type of cancer, and we’ll learn a little more of what we’re facing, but largely, this is a walk through darkness, with only the light of our faith and hope to guide us.

“The fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ brings great comfort in stressing times of mortality. It brings light where there is darkness and a calming influence where there is turmoil. It gives eternal hope where there is mortal despair.” Robert D. Hales

In the days since the ER, our thoughts have turned to what matters most, with an eternal perspective that gives us such comfort and strength. I’m humbled and overwhelmed with love and gratitude as I feel the enormity of the gifts of our Savior, Jesus Christ—His atonement and resurrection—more deeply and personally. Because of Him, all goodbyes are temporary. He lives. He loves us. He will be our light.

“The knowledge and understanding of the doctrine that God lives and Jesus is the Christ and that we have an opportunity to be resurrected and live in the presence of God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, makes it possible to endure otherwise tragic events. This doctrine brings a brightness of hope into an otherwise dark and dreary world. It answers the simple questions of where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going.” Robert D. Hales