“The Family: A Proclamation to the World” identifies building blocks that form the foundation of eternal families: “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”

I continue to miss my mom and reminisce about the near and distant past. Mom worked hard when I was younger, and I missed having her at home. I imagine one of the reasons I love the beach so much is because it was the one place we all went together every summer, and mom was with us all the time, relaxed and happy.  We lived in California, so the drive was only a little over an hour, and on the way there, we used to see who could spot the water first, feeling so much anticipation as we sang and played games in the car. I still feel that same sweet anticipation whenever I head for the coast.

We stayed at many different condos, but one we returned to several times was right on the sand.  We just climbed up three steps and were on the beach. We could run back and forth to use the bathroom, grab lunch or more snacks, or change our clothes. Mom and Grandma worked out the menu ahead of time, which always featured tacos and chili, and the first thing we did was go grocery shopping, including lots of special snacks and sodas. The beach is the only place I ever drank black cherry soda. During the week, we’d make sure to visit Rusty’s Pizza Parlor and Foster’s Freeze (Dad’s favorite).

I loved everything about that time together. I remember the grainy sand between my toes and the way it sounded as it scratched under our flip flops as we headed out with Dad or Grandpa for a walk to The Spot, a hamburger place just down the street, for lunch. I loved the ocean and swam all day, often with my sister, as Mom and Grandpa watched from the sand. My favorite was when Dad occasionally came in with us, showing us how to catch the waves, though I learned later that he barely tolerated the freezing water, which I relate to now. Grandpa was always up for a walk along the beach up to “the point,” where we often found a tide pool of amazing little creatures, and Dad played frisbee and other ball-catching games with us down by the water and was a great sandcastle architect.  

After a fun day in the sun, sand, and water, we cleaned up (we always had to remove tar from our feet with baby oil), ate dinner together, and played games, usually cards. It was so much fun. Sometimes at night, after showers, we’d find places on our skin that were sunburned and sensitive. I find myself smiling while I type these memories. Those trips increased my sense of belonging in my family, my feelings of love and security. They are the happiest times of my childhood and are always present in my heart when I go back.

“Build family traditions. Plan and carry out meaningful vacations together, considering our children’s needs, talents, and abilities. Help them create happy memories, improve their talents, and build their feelings of self-worth.” Robert D. Hales

The beach will always remind me of Mom and Dad. Throughout her whole life, Mom’s special place was Carpinteria. I imagine, like me, she carried sweet memories of her own family, who also spent summers there in her childhood. I know she felt especially close to her dad there. The salty beach breezes, the warm sunshine, and the sights and sounds of the waves rushing in and out transported Mom to a relaxed, joyful place, away from her worries and cares. Dad took his sweetheart every year, no matter the sacrifice. After he died, my sisters and I took over getting Mom to her annual beach trip.  She began staying for a whole month, soaking in all the peace and joy she could to last throughout the rest of the year.

We loved seeing the positive change that came over Mom at the beach and cherished the time we spent with her there, as we became her companions so she could still safely go. There was the occasional grumble, and greater appreciation for Dad, because she wasn’t a light packer, and we filled up the back of her SUV to the tippy top with all her stuff, including her cross-stitch paraphernalia and library books.  We also took her motorized scooter for her to get around. After she was all settled in, which took a day or two, she put on her hat each sunny day, loaded up the basket on her scooter, and navigated the short distance to the sand to set up her little place close to the sidewalk.  We reminded her often to be sure she always had her phone, and when she was alone, people were friendly and kind, offering her help if she needed it. Mom’s cousin, Pam, shared her love of the beach and was her beach buddy, especially in the last few years. Mom and Pam both had their last stay at the beach in September 2019; Pam died on Christmas Day and Mom only a few weeks later.   

Whenever I drove my mom to California, my heart got lighter and lighter as we approached the coast. I felt really close to Dad and also Grandpa and Grandma, who were a treasured part of the wonderful times spent there. I don’t know how it will feel to go back to Carpinteria this year.  My sisters and I will go together, which will be a first in our adult lives—we’ve always taken shifts, in the past, which allowed Mom a longer stay and gave us each special time just with her. I can’t imagine not having Mom with us, but, thankfully, I know from experience that she’ll be there in spirit, and she’ll be happy we’re together, remembering her and Dad and all the wonderful days we spent there.     

“Being part of a family is a great blessing. Your family can provide you with companionship and happiness, help you learn correct principles in a loving atmosphere, and help you prepare for eternal life.” For the Strength of Youth