“It must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, … righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad.” 2 Nephi 2:11

Here in the desert, we’ve had some beautiful, warm, sunny days in November.  This week, the weather finally turned cold and rainy, and immediately I longed for warmth and sun again.  I’m always freezing. I love to sit out in the sun and feel it soak into my skin. The seat warmers (fabulous invention) in my car make early morning seminary drives bearable. Sometimes, I literally cannot get warm. Last year for my birthday, my kids gave me a Bedjet. If you’ve never heard of this amazing device, it’s a heater, with a sort of blow-dryer attachment, that you put between your fitted sheet and the rest of your covers. When you turn it on, it shoots billows of hot air into your bed, warming the sheets, and toasting your frozen feet. Seriously the best gift I ever received. For me, heat and cold are a vivid example of opposition.

We often think of opposition as a negative thing.  Whenever I have a powerful spiritual experience, I know serious opposition will follow. Super predictable. Likewise, however, when life seems to be bombing me with difficulties, I always have hope that the good stuff is there, too.  Often, in the midst of painful situations, I have to concentrate, open my eyes, and search a little, to recognize the blessings, but other times they pour down in torrents, so that I can hardly take them all in.

I suffered with prenatal depression, which sometimes continued after my babies were born. Life was just difficult and overwhelming to me during those times. Everything seemed too much. Too sad. Too scary. I gave everything I had to keep going, keep being a good mom, keep attending church, keep it together. After the birth of one of my children, the heaviness lingered especially long. I couldn’t remember, during that time, the feeling of joy. I wondered if I’d ever feel it again. I adored that precious baby. He was the sweet amid the bitter; holding him close brought me needed comfort and helped me know life was still good and beautiful. After many months, I remember feeling a moment of pure, brilliant joy. It was so unexpected; the power and beauty took my breath away.  In that moment, I understood better than I ever had, the gift of opposition. Without that darkness, I never could have appreciated the joy in the same way.

I love this picture of my daughter with her baby.  But the next one is what happened right after, when he spit up on her. The perfect illustrations of opposition. Still makes me laugh. 

“And it must needs be that the devil should tempt the children of men, or they could not be agents unto themselves; for if they never should have bitter they could not know the sweet.” D&C 29:39

“…It is opposition that enables choice and it is the opportunity of making the right choices that leads to the growth that is the purpose of the Father’s plan.” Dallin H Oaks

I’ve made many mistakes in my life; I’ve failed, sinned, and hurt others. My deepest feelings of despair have come from regrets for poor choices and wishing, with all my heart, that I could take back what I’d done or said. On the other side of that agonizing coin, the sweetest, most joyful moments have come after such pain and regret, when I have repented and felt, so intimately and powerfully, the purifying and healing made possible by the Atonement of my Savior, Jesus Christ. At those times, I felt like Alma, who said, “My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity.  I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvelous light of God.  My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more.” (Mosiah 27:29)

Adam and Eve recognized the gift of opposition. They expressed their gratitude for the blessings that came as a result of the Fall:

“Adam blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth, saying: Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God.

“And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient.” Moses 5:10-11

Like Eve, sorrow for my own transgressions has increased the joy of my redemption, and my gratitude for The One who makes it possible. Though I’m often annoyed by the opposition I face, seemingly everywhere I turn these days, I’m grateful I can feel both sorrow and joy and learn from my own experience in choosing good or evil. I’m thankful for the sun after dark and cloudy days, children’s squeals and chatter after stretches of somber quiet, salty ocean breezes after dry dessert landscapes, peaceful calm after turmoil, and tight hugs after lonely separations.