Today I’m thinking about my Dad and hoping to somehow honor him with a few words from my heart. It’s been five years since he returned to his Heavenly home.  As I began to write about my love for him and how he’s influenced me, I read my own tribute to him, which I shared at his memorial service. It covered a big part of what I wanted to convey, so I share some of it again here.

Dad was easy to love.  He was gentle and kind and friendly.  He had a great outlook on life.  He was a happy man, who brought happiness to others. 

Dad was a doer. He liked being busy, useful, and active. He jogged, biked, played golf, bowled, did anything outdoors, including tons of yard work.  He loved to work on his yard—it was his project for many years.  Recently he switched his project to a longtime dream of his: restoring a car. The grandkids enjoyed sharing those plans with him, and his friends helped him with the details.

Dad had 12 grandchildren and loved to see their successes and talents.  He attended many recitals, orchestra concerts, and sporting events to cheer them on. Even in his 60’s he could outplay them in most sports! Every single one of them felt his testimony and influence.  He was like a father to his oldest granddaughter, and he filled that role with love and gentleness. Dad only had daughters, so he had a lot of fun with his grandsons. He taught them how to work!  He showed them how to treat women by his sweet, old-fashioned chivalry to my mom, my grandmothers, and his girls. He has been a hero to us in taking care of his “Sweet Companion” and “Dearie Face,” as he called her.  His devotion to her was a testament to his beautiful character.  He adored her.

He shared his love for family freely.  He didn’t have trouble saying, “I love you,” but even more, every day of his life, he showed his love by his actions.   We knew he loved us and was there for us.  Every one of us called on him many times, knowing he was happy to help, to serve, to do anything we needed.  And he always did it with a smile. Because of his unconditional love, acceptance, and kind, gentle ways, we are better able to understand a loving Heavenly Father, who is always there when we need Him and will love us no matter what.     

Dad was an example of loyalty to family, covenants, and God. He loved his calling in the church, working with the Bishopric. Right after he had his first stroke, while he was in the hospital, he told me the tithing reports were all ready to go.  He gave Mom directions about them and asked the Bishop about it when he visited Dad in the hospital.   His duty was important to him, and his valiant service was an inspiration to all of us.   He led our family as an honorable Priesthood holder.  He ordained grandsons, gave school blessings, was an escort for a grandson at the temple, and has been a wonderful example of how the Priesthood is used to bless and strengthen families.

We are thankful for the tender mercy of having a month, after Dad’s first stroke, to serve him.  It was hard for him to be served, but it gave us such joy to have the blessing of caring for him in this small way, to give back a tiny portion of all that he’s done for us. 

Dad was a humble man.  He didn’t know of his greatness.  He didn’t realize his influence, strength, and success.  He wasn’t a man of wealth, but he was rich in character and virtue.  He wasn’t a scholar, but he taught us from the scriptures and led us with his wisdom.  He knew we loved him, but he didn’t know he was our hero.

At that time, the grandkids each wrote a few thoughts honoring him, entitled, “Do You Know How Much You’re Loved?”  The common threads they shared were their admiration of his dedication and service to his wife, daughters, and others, his hard work and cheerfulness, his strength in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and the time he spent with each of them. They absolutely knew he loved them and wanted him to know how much they loved him in return.

One of our last, and most precious, happy memories of Dad was just before his birthday, less than two months before he unexpectedly had a stroke and died a few weeks later.  My sisters and I had come to celebrate with Mom and Dad, and we all went out to a nice lunch.  Dad was especially happy for the rare chance to have us all together.  Smiling, he looked at each of us and said,

 “While we are all here together, I want you girls to know that I am happy. I am truly happy. I have everything I need and more: a sweet companion, you girls, a nice home, work, great friends, and enough income for our needs. I like what I do, where I am, and who I am. I wake up every day happy.”

That’s how I remember my dad.  Happy.  Contented.  Grateful.  I think about him every day and miss him more each year. He was the man we could always rely on.  Constant and safe.  He had a certain look he gave us girls, when he smiled and called us darlin’. In my mind, I can still see that smile, his eyes looking adoringly at me.  I think of it often when I need to remember I’m special and I’m loved.    

You didn’t know your smile made me feel adored.

You didn’t see the way your solid, dependable presence helped me feel safe.

You didn’t think you made a difference in my life and the lives of all those who knew you.

You didn’t realize you were an example of Christlike love and service to us all.

You didn’t understand that you’re my hero.

I’ve learned, since Dad left us, how precious our time is with those we love. I had no idea how much I’d miss him or how close he would feel sometimes. I’m thankful for my testimony of Christ’s atonement and His victory over death. I know, through faithfully honoring temple covenants, families can be together forever.

Like the Savior, Dad went about doing good.  He wasn’t perfect, but he was a saint. When I look at the quiet life of service he led, it fills me with love for him and hope for myself, that I, too, can steadily press forward and finish the work I’ve been sent here to do.